


A Just Punishment

by Draconic_Grace



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien/Human Relationships, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, BDSM, Character Study, Dom/sub, Dom/sub Play, Erotica, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Interspecies Romance, Kelpiens (Star Trek), Kink Negotiation, Light BDSM, Not Canon Compliant - Star Trek: Discovery, Porn with Feelings, Post-Episode: s03e06 Scavengers (Star Trek: Discovery), Praise Kink, Romance, Season 3 Spoilers (Star Trek: Discovery), Shameless Smut, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:34:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27722173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draconic_Grace/pseuds/Draconic_Grace
Summary: The Kelpien wanted her obedience to him.He knew he already had her loyalty. Yet, for all her fondness for him, the human had slighted Saru, and so he had punished her. He thought it had been enough for him.It was not.Deep down, Saru wanted to punish her further; he wanted to punish her more.One way or another, he would have Michael Burnham obey him, and receive the punishment she deserved.
Relationships: Michael Burnham/Saru
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	A Just Punishment

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Why hello! So, I loved season 3 episode 6: Scavengers, and I love Saru. After I saw the episode last week, this plot bunny bit me and wouldn't let me go until I finished this story! There is a severe lack of Saru-centered stories, as well as a lack of Michael/Saru fic, so I think this contributes decently to both. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! :) 
> 
> Also, please note: this is a very NSFW fic. Please mind the tags! 
> 
> A further note and disclaimer: I am not an expert in the BDSM scene in any way, though I do know about some of the basics. It's a very complex world of its own, and I just like writing about it. The concepts in this story relating to BDSM should in no way be taken as fact. That said, please do your own research and, above all, be safe! 
> 
> Spoiler Warning: Major spoilers for Star Trek: Discovery through Season 03, episode 6: Scavengers.

Captain Saru stood at the window of his quarters, looking out at the remaining 30th century Federation fleet, thinking on how he had demoted his former first commanding officer, Michael Burnham, just a few hours prior. 

The Kelpien ground his teeth together in irritation as he ran over the moment in his mind for the several hundredth time. At first, he had thought he would not be capable of the act, that his respect for Michael as a friend and fellow officer would prevent him from doing what needed to be done. That his stint as captain, however long it turned out to be, would prove that his compassion for those he cared about was his weakness, as much as his natural-born cowardice had been before his own _vahar'ai_. 

The ensuing rush of power, of self-confidence, the utter _lack_ of fear that he had lived with all his life, had convinced Saru he was capable of captaincy, and he reveled in the flexing of his ambition and abilities, which he had steadfastly cultivated since joining the Federation. The knowledge that Kaminar and his people would someday join the Federation had made his heart sing with both relief and pride, that his struggle as the first Kelpien in Starfleet had not been in vain. 

Perhaps that is why Saru had found it in himself to punish Officer Burnham for her transgressions after all, for going against his direct orders. He did not have to be beholden to another captain; for the first time, he _was_ the captain, and he took the responsibility of command seriously. He wished Michael could understand that it wasn't all about her; the safety of his entire crew was his responsibility, and she had jeopardized _them,_ as well as the future of his command, when she had disobeyed him. Saru knew his brave human friend had understood that, and had willfully chosen to disobey him anyway. Just thinking of her audacity made his entire body shake with barely contained fury. He was grateful for their personal transporters in taking him to the privacy of his quarters immediately, getting him away from Burnham before he did something both of them would regret. What that was, exactly, Saru himself didn't quite know. He just knew that, now that he was alone, he couldn't put her out of his mind.

So Saru had demoted her, and had taken no pleasure in it. Yet, when, in tears, Officer Burnham had said to him "you're doing the right thing," he could not forget that statement, nor the tears in her eyes as she had spoken the words aloud. 

_She thinks she deserves punishment,_ he thought. _That she deserves to lose the duty of command. That she deserves to lose, to feel the sting of defeat. Why?_

Saru put a long finger to his chin, tilting his head in thought. He considered Michael Burnham’s actions over the course of their mutual service on Discovery. He recalled that, every time she got close to becoming a commander, she sabotaged herself from continuing her command post. It did not matter that it was often--nearly always--for the sake of saving the galaxy, Michael still sabotaged herself from obtaining and keeping her post as a Commander by making such choices, either willfully or subconsciously. Saru did not know which; he knew he should not care. He knew he should not be thinking so deeply, so _obsessively,_ over a single human officer under his command. Yet, he yearned to understand Michael’s behavior, to figure out why she had done what she did. He had known her too long, been her friend for too long, served at her side for too long, for it not to matter to him. 

Hells, it was because of Michael Burnham that Saru was captain at all; it was her own hands that had caught the threat ganglia from the back of his head during his _vahar’ai,_ that had given him his resulting rebirth as the Kelpien man he was now. A gift so priceless, that it had enabled him to help free his people on Kaminar of their bondage, freeing them to determine their own future. Michael had given him that chance, and then, once she had been under his command and accepted his offered post as his Number One, she had gone against it. Against _him._

Saru considered the fact that he was not the first captain whose command Michael had actively chafed under and fought. He had seen her clash against all of the captains they had shared over their years in Starfleet serving together: Georgiou. Lorca. Pike. And now, him. They had all been captivated by Michael Burnham, drawn to her brilliance, her tenacity, her genius for strategy and her penchant for combining both intuition and reason. She was unusual, even for Starfleet; she was unique in the galaxy, as far as Saru was concerned. And Michael had told him that he had been doing "the right thing", by demoting her. 

That meant she felt the punishment was deserved, that she understood the depths of her wrongdoing. Saru had teleported away from the command deck back to his quarters on Discovery expecting to feel satisfied, but all he felt was an ache to make her smile again. He knew that such feelings were a wrongdoing of his own, a distinct impropriety of feelings between a captain and one of his officers. The Kelpien wasn’t sure when he had changed, when how he felt about Michael had shifted, from seeing her as a surrogate sister and dear friend, to--to something _else._ The frustrating, brilliant human woman had gotten under his skin at the worst possible moment, right when he was tenuously flexing his control as Discovery’s new captain. 

Saru sighed irritably, shaking his head, and turned away from the window, busying himself with making tea at the replicator while his thoughts whirled about in his mind. 

_This is just the loneliness of command,_ he told himself, and he almost believed the thought as it arose. _It is my own lack of personal connection that is causing me to--to think of her this way. To obsess about her._

Saru once again recalled the tears in Michael’s eyes, her resigned smile as she had told him he had been doing the right thing by demoting her. How casually she had taken the slight of his dismissal of her command post. Though she had clearly been agonised, her otherwise immediate acceptance of the humiliation of demotion was, technically, an insult to his rank as her captain. Any self-respecting commanding officer would have chastened beneath its sting, would have held their tongue; and yet, Michael had told him of her approval of his actions, as if he had needed her approval at all. As if she had wanted demotion in the first place; as if she had _craved her punishment._

Saru clenched his long fingers around his teacup, suddenly furious all over again at Michael. He wanted to punish her further, to punish her _more_ . At the thought, a sudden bolt of lust rushed through him, making his body ache, and the Kelpien gasped in shock at his own reaction. Before his _vahar’ai,_ he had scarcely had such amorous thoughts about anyone, a casualty of the fear-driven hormones in his body, but afterwards, such desires had become more frequent. He had explored such things on his own in private, and the occasional indulgence of taking himself in hand had served Saru well enough in the past. He had also examined adult films of various species to determine his interests, including those prominently featuring humans. The Kelpien had been privately amused during his course of research that it was humans, amongst all Federation species, that seemed to have the most numerous production and variety of such erotic arts. 

Saru had been intrigued at the subculture of what humans called “BDSM”, especially the mental play of dominance and submission between lovers. Having been so diametrically different in temperament before and after his _vahar’ai,_ the Kelpien felt that he could relate to both mindsets, recalling his submissive craving of acceptance by authority figures, only to be replaced by his reclaiming of his own power and ensuing yearning for control after surviving his species’ right of passage. As he felt himself growing hard between his legs, thinking of officer Michael Burnham accepting further punishment from him, Saru knew this dance between them was not yet complete. 

He took a shaky breath, his body filled with renewed yearning for the infuriating, beautiful human taking up his thoughts. Placing his teacup with its now cold tea on his desk, Saru got up and walked towards his sonic shower. As aroused as he was now, he knew he would have little trouble achieving his release. Afterwards, he would call for Michael to attend him in his quarters once she was off of her shift. Saru grinned to himself as he rapidly disrobed and stepped into the shower. 

_We will determine, together, what you deserve, Michael,_ he thought, _and it may not be what you expect._

* * *

Officer Michael Burnham walked through the decks of Discovery to her quarters, biting her tongue at the suspicious looks and whispers that followed her from the rest of the crew. She had just finished beta shift on the bridge, helping analyze local subspace transmissions the Admiral needed for the Federation’s various rescue and relief operations. She didn’t regret rescuing Book from the labor camp with Georgiou in the slightest, as it had allowed her to obtain the black box that could help them all figure out the true cause of the Burn. Yet, remembering Admiral Vance’s harsh words for both her and Captain Saru, and her Kelpien captain’s ensuing demotion of her rank to that of Officer, still stung. The stares and whispers from the crew hurt even more. Still, after everything she and the rest of Discovery had been through, Michael was used to her many bureaucratic falls from grace at this point. She supposed she was just happy to have found Discovery and the rest of the Federation fleet at all; if the price of her supposed folly was to be an Officer once more, Michael would take it. 

At that thought, she finally entered her quarters, grateful to finally be alone. Thoughts of Book’s lips on hers, on their earlier shared kiss in the turbolift, were a guilty indulgence that she forced out of her mind, to deal with when their paths inevitably crossed next. Michael sighed and shed her uniform, shuffling into the shower. Her thoughts were muddled, frayed, just like her nerves; she had been through too much in too short a time, and needed a break from everything. She tilted her head back, luxuriating in the sonic waves washing over her body, the stimulation causing her to ache with a want she had resolutely ignored. She moaned softly as her core ached between her legs, demanding fulfillment, and she began to reach a hand down to seek her release, when she heard her communicator chime from the other room. 

Muttering a few choice swear words in Vulcan, Klingon, and Federation Standard, Michael stumbled out of the shower and hurtled herself into the other room, grabbing her communicator.

_“Captain Saru to Burnham.”_

Michael couldn’t help but feel a jolt of frightened shame as she heard her captain’s voice. Her entire body shivered, and not just from the cold air of her quarters as she stood there naked; she hadn’t wanted to see him again so soon. She hadn’t had time to process how she felt about her abrupt--but completely deserved--demotion of rank. Michael hadn’t had time to even calm down from her battle at the labor camp, and now he was calling on her. She swallowed, her mouth dry, her muscles tense with anxiety.

“Burnham here, Sir,” she said, keeping her tone all business, the better to hide the fact that she was answering her comm while shivering naked from the shower. If Saru noticed her voice was trembling, he made no mention of it. 

_“Officer Burnham, I am aware that you just completed beta shift, did you not?”_ said Saru.

Michael took a breath before answering.

“Yes, Sir, I just got off my shift,” she said. “If this is about the subspace transmissions, we’re still calibrating the new array sensors--”

_“Ah, no, this is not concerning the transmissions, Burnham,”_ said Saru, interrupting her, _“though I have every confidence in your abilities to examine and assemble the required data for the Admiral.”_

She heard the Kelpien take a long sigh.

_“Officer Burnham, I have been...thinking, of what we discussed on the command deck after the Admiral’s departure,”_ he said. _“I do not think that discussion between us ended on the best of terms. Would you agree?”_

Michael’s mouth fell open, and she searched for the words to say in reply, finding none. 

“I--I--Sir, you--I told you then, I think you--” she began, but her captain interrupted her once more.

_“Did the right thing, you said,”_ he said. _“Yes, Burnham, I remember. And yet, I believe there is more to it than that, all the same.”_

“...If you say so, Sir,” she replied, trying to keep her tone neutral, all the while her mind and heart both racing. Michael had no idea what Saru wanted, or what he meant by what he was saying. Normally, Saru’s thought process made complete sense to her, but now--now she had no idea what his endgame was. It unnerved her; her body trembled further, though Michael had no idea why. 

Perhaps it was the solid tone of the Kelpien’s voice, usually so soft, but now stern with the power and pressure of command. Michael could almost feel him pressing against her; for a moment she imagined his long, lengthy body pressing against hers, skin to skin, Kelpien to human, shocking and forbidden. She felt her heart race faster at the thought, scolding herself for thinking such thoughts in the first place.

_“Officer Burnham, I would like to discuss this further with you, in person,”_ said Saru, and the firmness in his tone brooked no further argument from her. She heard the command implicit in his words. _“Meet me in my quarters in one hour.”_

“...Yes Sir,” she replied, nodding, even though he couldn’t see her.

_“Good, Michael,”_ he replied, sounding pleased at her quick verbal obedience, and Michael felt her entire body ache at the way he suddenly said her first name, at the unexpected praise. She felt a thrill in her body that she didn’t want to name. Fear and arousal throbbed through her body in equal measure, and she was dimly terrified of what that could mean. Nevertheless, she summoned up what little control over herself she still had. 

“I will...see you in one hour, then, Sir,” she said. “Officer Burnham out.”

_“Excellent. See you then. Captain Saru out.”_

Her communicator finally fell silent, and Michael placed it on the bed, muttering another curse in Vulcan as she walked back to the bathroom and got into the shower, feeling cold all over despite the heat of the sonic. She wasn’t ready to see Captain Saru again, and yet, here she was, summoned to his quarters. 

“It never ends,” she whispered to herself, suddenly feeling the weight of the intense pressure she lived with constantly as an active duty member of Starfleet. No matter what, she had her duty to her captain. Some things never changed!

Michael sighed and got out of the shower, running her hand through her long braids as she searched for a clean uniform. At least she could look her best for her meeting with Saru; the fact of her demotion didn’t change the fact that she had the utmost respect for the Kelpien, and no small measure of admiration for the man he had become. She was proud of him for attaining his captaincy; as much as she knew she had deserved her demotion to officer, she was just as certain that Saru deserved the title of Captain, that he had earned every measure of the role. That he was comfortable making difficult decisions in regards to his crew, only convinced Michael further of the fact that Saru would completely own his role as acting Captain, regardless of how long it lasted. She was certain he could keep the role as long as he wished, especially because he could do the things that needed to be done, no matter how difficult.

Michael sighed again and hurried to get ready.

* * *

Finally dressed and as presentable as she could be, Michael stood outside Saru’s quarters at a minute to the hour, her every nerve tight with tension. She squared her shoulders, standing straight as she rang the chime requesting entrance.

“Enter,” said Saru from within, and the doors opened. Michael stepped inside without hesitation, though her heart was racing beneath her ribs,and she fought the urge to jump as she heard the doors close with a sound of finality behind her. She saw Captain Saru sitting at his desk looking at his PADD, a teacup and saucer sitting beside it, though he stood to greet her as she came to a stop before him, standing at attention.

“Ah, Michael,” he said, smiling slightly and nodding down at her from his full height, and she nodded back perfunctorily. “Thank you for meeting with me on such short notice.” 

“Of course, Sir,” she said, nodding and returning his smile with one of her own. 

“Please, sit,” he said, and gestured at the chair opposite his with a hand, and Michael did so, taking a moment to admire his long, textured fingers with their pointed fingernails, so different from a human’s, but intriguing all the same for their differences. The Kelpien sat across from her, the desk between them providing a barrier between them, one Michael was grateful for, considering how strange she was feeling about seeing him. 

Saru bent forward slightly as he regarded her, folding his hands on his desk as he fixed his azure gaze on her. They sat silently for a few moments, each taking in the other, neither human or Kelpien willing to speak or be the first to look away. Michael clenched her hands together in her lap, fighting the urge to run from how her captain was looking at her. 

Like she was _prey_ , and he was the predator. 

Finally, Saru looked down at the desk, reaching for his teacup and taking a sip before looking back up at her.

“I find that I have been drinking more tea, as of late,” he said as a way to break the ice between them, “and I have become especially fond of drinking chamomile tea while reading my evening reports. The relaxing effect is quite welcome. Would you like a cup, Michael?” 

Michael shook her head, smiling. 

“No thank you, Sir,” she said. “I appreciate it.”

“Mmm, indeed,” he said, and placed his teacup back onto the desk. He looked at her again, his blue eyes narrowing, looking at her face as if searching for something, though she had no idea what.

“Do you remember what you told me a year ago, Michael? During my _vahar’ai_?” he said in a whisper, and Michael felt her heart beat even faster. “You told me that I found my bravery, my strength. I have never forgotten that, nor that it was you who held my hand, who held the knife to my ganglia as I readied myself for my death.” 

“C-Captain,” she whispered, reeling with emotion from his words, but he raised a hand, and she fell silent. 

“It was _you,_ Michael,” he said, his voice louder, “that gave me the strength I needed to move through my _vahar’ai_ , and in turn, to help free Kaminar, so that my people, one day, can join the Federation. I could never repay you for such a priceless gift that you gave me, that day. I had hoped, therefore, that my offer of being my second in command--of being my commanding officer under my first acting role as captain of a Federation starship--would be seen as a way of my returning the favor. And then...well. We both know what happened, don’t we.”

It was not a question, but Michael nodded anyway. 

“Yes, Sir,” she said, not sure what else to say in response. She felt the pressure of Saru’s gaze on her, as he stared into her eyes, unblinking. His presence, so close to hers, sent her body into overdrive, and she could feel herself sweating beneath her uniform, her nerves tingling beneath the weight of his regard.

“We also both know, Michael,” he said, the tone of his voice now firm with disapproval, “that you have a problem with authority. I am well aware that I am not the first captain whose orders you have willfully ignored, but still, after being friends and serving together in Starfleet for nearly a decade, both on the Shenzhou and Discovery, I had hoped that you would have obeyed me. Not even necessarily because I am your Captain, now, but because I am your friend. You can imagine, then, my distinct and unwavering disappointment at your casual disregard of my direct orders. As well as your seeming approval of my demoting your rank to that of Officer.” 

“C-C-Captain, wait--” she said, stammering, but he raised his hand again, and she fell silent.

Saru leaned closer to her, his gaze piercing hers. 

“Why did you tell me, earlier, that I was doing the right thing, _Officer_ Burnham?” he asked, peering at her as if she was a science experiment, as if he wanted to take her apart. “What was your rationale behind such a response?”

Michael felt her mouth open, and she swallowed, her mouth dry.

“I--I thought--it was difficult for you, Sir,” she said softly, “to--to do that, to a friend. I thought it would--bother you, that kind of harsh decision. Weigh on you.” 

“Ah, true,” he said, nodding. “Well, it has bothered me, and weighed heavily on my shoulders, but such is the burden of command. Thus, I found it in me to demote you, anyway, as a just punishment. A punishment you _deserved._ ” 

At the words, Michael shook a bit in her seat, and she felt her whole body flush in shame. She hung her head, staring at the floor as she felt his disapproval wash over her like an almost living thing. 

“Do you feel you deserved to be demoted, Officer Burnham?” he asked. 

“Yes, Sir,” she replied in a whisper, unable to look at him.

“Do you feel you deserved to be punished?” he asked. “To be punished, by _me?_ As your Captain?” 

Michael swallowed, looking up at him, and felt paralyzed by the intensity of the look in his blue eyes. Michael looked and saw the Kelpien was breathing a bit faster, his hands pressed flat to the desk. 

“I--Sir, it’s not--not for me to decide what I deserve, in this case,” she said. “You’re the Captain. If you decide that I deserve more punishment than a demotion--” 

“You are correct, Michael,” he said, and he sounded satisfied. The corners of his mouth turned upwards in a slight smile. “I _am_ the Captain. _Your_ captain. I am glad you have recognized this as a fact, regardless of how challenging it is for you to follow orders.” 

He looked away, taking a sip from his teacup, and Michael took a shaky breath. Saru put his teacup back down on the desk, looking at her again. 

“I will speak plainly, Michael,” he said. “You have been demoted to Officer, and that is my _official_ punishment of you as regards your standing to the rest of the crew. Disobedience to a captain has consequences, otherwise our chain of command cannot function. I know that you understand this, as well as I. Nor do I feel that further official punishment is warranted, for I am aware you know that what you did was wrong, and you are too valuable a member of this crew for me to lose. Too good a _friend,_ for me to lose you.”

“Saru,” she whispered, forgetting herself for once, but Saru just nodded, allowing her the drop of his title. He took a breath.

“That being said,” he continued, “it is clear from your earlier reaction that your guilt at disobeying me is weighing heavily on you, much more so than I. I observed your heart rate and body temperature, during our discussion just now, and when I mentioned the word ‘punishment’, both measurements dramatically increased in you. Do you know why that is, Michael?”

“...No, Sir,” she whispered, and Michael felt her heart hammering beneath her ribs. 

“...You are lying, Michael,” he said, and stood from his chair, looming over her at his full height. “Your heart rate has increased by twenty-one percent, just now. Even if you are not consciously aware of the reason, deep down, you know why my mention of punishment is causing your heart to race. Tell me.” 

Michael shook in her seat as she stared up at him. 

“I...I deserved to be demoted, Sir,” she whispered, “I deserved to be--punished for disobeying you--”

“Yes, Michael,” he said, the Kelpien’s voice honey-smooth, washing over her as he walked around the desk to stand directly behind her. “You did deserve to be punished. And yet, I have already punished you. So why are you reacting this way to me when I mention it, unless…” 

She heard him lean down, and shivered as he whispered in her ear. 

“Unless you want me to punish you _more._ ” 

His words were both a suggestion and a promise, and Michael was unable to bite back a low moan as she shivered all over. 

“Have you ever been punished in an _unofficial_ manner, Michael?” he said, almost casually, but she could hear the captain’s breathing grow shallow from where he stood directly behind her. “Have you ever been put in your place, by a confidante? By a _lover?_ You may answer ‘yes’ or ‘no.’”

“I--I--No, Sir,” she finally managed, fear and arousal warring in her body at the bizarre turn this encounter with her captain had taken. 

“Have you ever thought about such things?” he asked. She felt his body hovering over hers from behind her, watched as he reached over and placed his hands flat on the desk beside her, so that she was now caged in by his arms. Still, Saru was so much taller that he didn’t even touch her, though she could feel the Kelpien’s body heat from behind her, burning her like a brand even from the close distance between them. Michael swallowed, her mouth dry. 

“I...I admit that I haven’t, Sir,” she replied, and she didn’t bother to hide the hesitation in her voice. The captain had thrown her off her game, and she didn’t know where this was going, what this was between them both. He had crossed a line she hadn’t been aware of. It wasn’t even about her being his subordinate, and him being her commanding officer. It’s that they were good friends, _close_ friends. Saru had even told her before how he saw her as a surrogate sister. Now, the line between them was blurring, and he was blurring it even further by standing so close, by whispering in her ear. 

“Is this an interrogation, Sir?” she asked, making her tone firm, pushing back against his line of questioning. She was unable to hold back a shiver as he chuckled in her ear, feeling his warm breath wash over her. 

“This is a _discussion,_ Officer Burnham,” he replied, “abstract and hypothetical, between close friends and comrades. Off the record, of course.”

“Of course, Sir,” she replied, straightening her back so she sat straight upwards, fixing her eyes on his teacup and trying to ignore the fact that the Kelpien was standing so close to her, trying to ignore how her body was responding to him. She felt a hot ache of desire throb between her thighs, and she bit her lip, shifting a bit. She heard the captain’s sharp intake of breath as she did so, and cursed the Kelpien’s ability to read various biorhythms. Michael hoped he couldn’t tell he was affecting her so strongly, but she had no idea how strong his abilities were. 

“You may ask me anything, as well, Officer Burnham,” he whispered, his breath now hot against her ear. “It’s only fair, seeing as where I’m steering the conversation.”

“Very well, Sir,” she said, and turned her head towards his, blinking at how close his face was to hers, their lips mere inches apart. 

Michael saw Saru’s bright blue eyes glance down at her lips, before drawing his gaze back to hers. Though his voice had been confident, he now looked as startled and bewildered as she. He swallowed, and the sound echoed loudly in the suddenly quiet room.

“Go ahead, ask me,” he said, his voice low, desire plain in his words. Michael shivered again. 

“Have you...thought about such things, Sir?” she asked in a whisper.

“Yes, I have,” he replied. “I have thought of such things...of doing such things, with _you_.”

“Why me, Saru?” she asked, unable to use his title with how close they had drawn together, with how his words, his body, made her every nerve ache with her own desire, her eyes narrowing in confusion and want. “ _Why,_ after all this time--after what I did--”

“What you did would never change how much I care for you, Michael,” replied Saru. “You are one of my closest friends, one of my most trusted advisors. It’s why your decision to disobey me was so--so _infuriating_ to me. Yet, I care about you just as much today, as I did yesterday. Your actions haven’t changed my feelings. If anything, they caused me to realize that--that I wanted more from you, than just your friendship.”

“That--I mean, I’m glad you feel that way, Saru--I mean, that you still-- _care_ about me,” she stammered, feeling herself flush at how tongue-tied the Kelpien’s words had made her. “But…that doesn’t explain why.”

“Why not?” he replied, turning his head to the side quizzically. “Is it so surprising, that I have been drawn to your beauty, your own bravery, your brilliance, as others have been before me?” 

He smiled at her. 

“At this point, it quite seems like a Discovery tradition,” he said, “for her captain to adore you. In this, I am no different than my predecessors.”

Michael blinked at him in confusion. Saru pursed his lips at her, the Kelpien equivalent of a raised eyebrow.

“You must be joking, Michael,” he said, “to not have noticed. All of our captains have followed you with their eyes. Their combined admiration for you has always been plain and clear for all to see. I saw the way all of them looked at you: Georgiou. Lorca. Pike. I sensed the way their hearts raced when you were near. The longing they pointed your way, when you weren’t looking, or when they thought you would not notice. But _I_ did. And now, I see what they saw, in you, and I cannot say I blame them.”

Saru looked at her lips again, and sighed, his breath washing over her. Michael fought the urge to lean forward, to press her lips against his, just to feel him. To feel a connection with another; any sort of connection. It had been too long, and her body was nearly buzzing with desire. Yes, she had kissed Book in the turbolift, had _wanted_ Book, but this--this was different. This was _Saru,_ her dearest friend, who had followed her throughout the galaxy. Who had saved her life over and over again. Whose life she had saved, in turn. The desire she was feeling felt _more_ real, not less. 

“Sir, I--Saru--please, tell me what you want,” she asked. “I don’t know what this is. This-- _thing,_ between us.”

“This is whatever we decide it is, Michael,” he whispered. “If this is something you don’t want--”

“I never said that, Sir,” she replied, and he chuckled at her customary forthright demeanor. “I asked what you want.”

“I want _you,_ Michael,” he said, and smiled at her again. “I want you to be my lover.”

“For how long?” she asked.

“We could start with just a night,” he said, “and go from there. No strings attached. I’m aware of what your friend Book means to you, Michael, and I would not get in the way of your developing bond. Besides, now that I have attained my captaincy, I earnestly desire to keep it, for however long I am granted the honor by Starfleet. My career, as it stands, doesn’t leave much room for a relationship, so this sort of unattached arrangement would work well for me. You and I could both do with some much needed...stress relief, as it were.”

She laughed softly.

“Stress relief indeed, Sir,” she said. “Speaking of which, isn’t a captain sleeping with one of his subordinates considered highly unethical?”

“It is,” he said, nodding in agreement with her. “However, fraternization is not as unethical as a commanding officer--or any member of my crew-- _disobeying_ my direct orders. I see no reason why Starfleet needs to know about what goes on in our personal lives.”

Michael smiled at him in genuine admiration, shaking his head in awe at her captain.

“Captain Saru, I had no idea you had this in you,” she said. “You always seem--so ‘by the book,’ so proper.”

“All the better a disguise, for what I would intend to do with you, Officer Burnham,” he said. “That is, if you were interested in such an... _arrangement,_ with me.” 

Michael took a shaky breath, finally looking away from him, and Saru got up from behind her, moving to sit at his desk once more. The Kelpien looked at her, folding his hands on his desk. 

“Why don’t you...think about it, for a while,” he said, “As a possibility. Of course, this does not change my respect for you as a Starfleet officer, Michael, or as a friend. If you decided you were not interested, for any reason, I will respect that, and will not treat you any differently. I am aware my suggestion is a--grey area, ethically, and I would never ask you to do anything you were uncomfortable with, outside of our official Starfleet duties, of course. If you didn’t want to--”

“I never said that, Sir,” she said, and he blinked at her from across the desk. “And...I don’t need to think about it. I already know my answer.” 

Saru took a sharp breath, staring at Michael intensely, his azure gaze pinning her where she sat before him. 

“I see,” he said, nodding at her. “And what is your answer, Officer Burnham?”

“Yes. I mean--Yes, Sir,” she stammered, feeling her entire body flush at her confession. “I would...be lovers with you. I don’t know for how long, but--I would not object to one night together, at least.”

Michael watched as Captain Saru’s mouth opened and he groaned low in his throat, his hands clenching into fists on top of his desk, his tall body bending forwards. 

“You would...allow me that honor, Officer Burnham?” he asked, and Michael could hear how his voice shook. “You would...let me touch you? _Kiss_ you? You would let me make you call my name?” 

“... _God,_ Saru,” she said, breathing harshly at the restrained passion in the Kelpien’s words. “Y-y-yes, I would…”

The human and Kelpien both stared at each other from the desk between them, breathing hard.

“Is there anything you--that you absolutely _refuse_ to do?” said Saru, his confidence flagging a bit as he stumbled over his words, but his azure eyes gleamed with a new eagerness. “I would not have you--be or feel uncomfortable with me, Michael. If we are to--to share ourselves with each other, in such a way, I would make sure you felt nothing but the utmost safety with me. Though this is intended to be a casual arrangement between us, you should know that I care for you, deeply.”

Michael smiled at him, then, a genuine smile free of the anxiety she had been feeling just minutes prior. She was still more than a bit nervous about sharing Saru’s bed, having not had much experience herself, but she knew enough to know that Saru’s overtures were kinder than most. Whatever he did not know, he easily made up for with both his enthusiasm and intensity.

“I know you do, Saru,” she replied softly. “And you should know that I feel the same way about you. I always have, and I always will. That being said…” 

She looked away, laughing nervously, feeling her face flush before looking back at him. 

“Just...don’t stick anything in or near my ass, and we’ll be fine,” she said. 

“...Ah! I--I see,” he said, blinking furiously, and he made that little clicking noise in his mouth that Michael had come to know as a sign of both Kelpien laughter and embarrassment. “Duly noted, then. You can be certain that your stated stipulation is the same for me, as well.” 

“And that’s all of your ‘hard limits,’ as it were, Captain?” she asked, now genuinely curious as to what Saru knew about sex, or even if he understood what that term meant. 

“Not exactly,” he replied, taking a sip of his tea before looking back up at her. “You may be surprised to know that I have done ample research on the subject of sexuality and sexual activity amongst numerous Federation species, including that of humans. In fact, most of the...adult films I have perused have prominently featured humans. Both human men and women, as well as humans with various other species. I was surprised, myself, to find out that it appears humans have created the most variety of pornographic films in the entire Federation.”

Michael nodded, smiling widely. She crossed her legs, leaning back in her chair.

“You certainly seem to have done your research, Captain,” she said. “I’m not surprised to hear any of it, to be honest. Though I am curious what your...likes and dislikes ended up being, as a result of all your detailed research.”

“Indeed,” he said, smiling at her. “Well, I was most surprised to find out about a sexual subculture unique to humans, called ‘BDSM.’ Are you familiar with the term, Michael?” 

She nodded. 

“With the terms and theory,” she replied, “just not with the actual experience.” 

“Well, it turns out that I am most interested with the portion of this subculture dealing with the aspects of dominance and submission,” said Saru. “As you know, the experience of _vahar’ai_ dramatically changed my feelings and demeanor, as well as my personal biology. While I possessed my threat ganglia, I constantly felt fear, and also a need to please figures of authority. I craved their praise, and cringed beneath even a slight disciplining. Not unlike a human submissive towards their dominant partner or master.” 

Saru looked down at his desk, gathering his thoughts, before looking back up. 

“After _vahar’ai_ and losing my ganglia,” he said, “I felt the opposite. I felt a...a rush of my own power, but also a distinct lack of fear. As well as a yearning for control, and a will to direct others. In other words, I found a newfound comfort in being the kind of authority figure I used to want to please, as my earlier self.”

“Not unlike a human dominant,” she said, watching him nod.

“Precisely,” he said. “I had no idea that a practice in human sexuality would so perfectly encapsulate my uniquely Kelpien experience. Once I found out about such a practice, I indulged heavily in learning everything I could about the practice of dominance and submission. I was...well. I was hoping, Michael, that if you happened to agree to my request to be lovers, that you would possibly be willing to...experiment, with me, on enacting this kind of dynamic together.” 

Michael blinked again in surprise.

“I--I’m not necessarily opposed to it, Sir,” she said, “but--again, I’m not very experienced with this particular subculture. Or in general, I admit. As you know, I grew up on Vulcan, where sexual repression is the norm rather than the exception.”

Saru nodded.

“I thank you for being open to the possibility, Michael,” he said. “To add to your admission, I, too, am not particularly experienced sexually, though I have had two previous partners. My first partner was Kelpien, on Kaminar in my youth, far before I joined the Federation. My second partner was a good friend and colleague, a human. She and I were in the same Science track together in Starfleet Academy.” 

“So you _have_ been with a human before, Sir,” she said, smiling. “I was going to ask if that was the case…”

He nodded, smiling back at her.

“I have indeed,” he said. “If I may assuage a similar curiosity, Michael, have you ever…”

“Slept with someone from a non-human species? Yes, I...my very first partner was a Vulcan, actually,” she replied, laughing a bit under her breath. “Vulcans are...well, to say they are completely sexually repressed isn’t entirely accurate. It’s more of a ‘right place at the right time’ kind of occurrence. He was--nice. He made sure I had a good time.”

Michael bit her lip, getting momentarily lost in her thoughts as she recalled that there was also Ash Tyler, of course, who technically wasn’t human before he became human, but she had no inkling to delve too far into her past. Especially when a very different alien man who sought her attentions was sitting right in front of her. Her dramatic relationship with Ash Tyler had left a lot to be desired, all things considered; the sex together had been satisfying, but always weighed down with the tension of the war and madness that had been their lives back then. Saving the galaxy had taken precedence; and besides, that was all over now.

She looked back up to see Saru staring at her with desire plain in his gaze. She shifted about in her seat, and felt that ice-blue gaze of her Captain drift down her body before moving back up to her face.

“I...I would also like to ensure you have a good time, Michael,” he said softly, leaning forward towards her. “I am perfectly fine with having a normal sort of sexual encounter...I believe the term in Earth slang is ‘vanilla sex?’” 

Michael couldn’t help giggling slightly at the surreality of Captain Saru mentioning the phrase ‘vanilla sex,’ and soon Saru was also laughing, making that clicking noise of his that she was rapidly becoming enamored with. 

“I--I’m sorry, Sir, it’s just--” she said, still chuckling. 

“No, it’s fine, Michael,” he replied, grinning and shaking his head. “I suppose there is no way to avoid this sort of awkwardness, when talking about sexual intimacy.”

“Not really,” she said, agreeing with him, and then they were quiet once more. 

Michael stared at the teacup on her Captain’s desk, wondering what the hell she was even doing, talking about this with the Captain, but she also had no desire to stop. She realized that she did want Saru, after all. She wanted him _completely,_ wanted the Kelpien’s lips and hands on her body. She wanted him inside her. She supposed she should have been more disturbed at the impropriety, the unethical manner of such a choice, but she also didn’t give a damn. This was the 30th century, after all; the Federation they had come from in their own timeline no longer existed. Besides, it _was_ no strings attached, and they _did_ need the stress relief. They had saved the galaxy several times over, along with the entire Discovery crew; as far as Michael was concerned, they had earned at least one night’s romp together. 

Michael clenched her hands together in her lap.

“Sir, I--Saru,” she said, looking up at him again, and she fought the urge to shudder once more under the intensity of his gaze. “I’d be willing to...try some new things with you. You seemed very enthusiastic about the whole dominance and submission aspect, and it seems important to you. Just because I’ve never tried anything like that, doesn’t mean I’m fully against it. You would need to guide me, though, because I wouldn’t know what I was doing. But--I want to be able to give that experience to you, to share that experience, together.”

Saru took a shaky breath.

“ _Michael,_ ” he whispered, and this time Michael did shiver all over at the reverence in his voice.

Saru cleared his throat noisily. He folded his hands in front of him on his desk. 

“Very well,” he said, nodding. “It would be my privilege to explore such a topic with you. To add to what we were talking about a few minutes ago, one of my ‘hard limits,’ as it were, is that I can no longer stand being a submissive sexual partner. I insist on having full control at all times, and I expect you to follow my direction and commands. I believe this type of preference or feeling makes me a ‘dominant,’ in BDSM parlance, or ‘dom,’ for short. I am not interested in the formality of the title, so there would be no need to call me ‘master’ or the like. I do not object to being called Captain, however, and I would... _enjoy_ it if you continued to call me by my title, as well as my name.” 

Michael swallowed as she imagined moaning his title on her lips while Saru busied himself in various activities between her thighs. She managed to nod.

“Understood, Sir,” she said. 

“Good,” he continued. “Then there are only a few more things. One is selecting a safeword. This is a word that should be distinct and clear. Once you say your safeword, the entire encounter ends, regardless of what we are doing. Do you have an idea of what you could use for a safeword, Michael?” 

“ _Kril'es_ ,” she said immediately. “It’s the--”

“Vulcan word for ‘harmony,’” said Saru, interrupting her. “An interesting phrase. I only took two years of Vulcan Common back in the Academy, having decided on studying multiple other languages, including several from Earth.”

Michael nodded; she wasn’t surprised he had known the term, recalling that Saru was multi-talented, being particularly gifted in languages as well as the sciences. 

“When I was adopted by my Vulcan father and human mother, as a child, and was being taught Vulcan, I always liked that word,” she explained. “There was something about it that was calming to me. It was a...reminder, that even after all I had been through, it was possible for me to still find peace and harmony, no matter where I was. It was...comforting, to know that I could find a sort of harmony in a new family.” 

They smiled at one another. 

“Well, I am fine with the use of that term, if you are,” said Saru. Michael nodded. 

“Alright then,” he said. “Next, there is the color system, based on the old Earth system of street lights for vehicles. ‘Red’ is for stop, ‘yellow’ is slow down, and ‘green’ means go or continue. Every so often, I would pause what we were--doing, together, and check in with you and ask you to say or give me your color, to gauge your current status and comfort level. You will tell me the color and I will act accordingly. This is different from the use of your safeword, which would cease the entire encounter. The color system means we will continue based on the color you choose as your reply. Does this make sense, the way I am explaining it so far?”

“Clear as crystal, Sir,” she replied, and Captain Saru nodded.

“Wonderful,” he said. “The final is a...specific request of mine, to you, Michael. I know I am asking a lot of you, by even mentioning all of this. Yet, not asking you would not be honest of me.”

Saru looked at her.

“Michael, would it be alright if I--enacted a kind of-- _punishment,_ with you?” 

Michael took a sharp breath, and she clenched her hands together to keep them from shaking. Part of her had expected the conversation to eventually turn this way, having seen Saru so fixated on the term earlier, and their shared arousal at the idea of him punishing her, but she still didn’t feel quite ready. Still, her body thrummed with equal parts nervousness and excitement. 

“What kind of punishment, Sir?” she asked. “Whips, chains?” 

The both smiled at the absurdity of the suggestion.

“Nothing so dramatic,” replied Saru. “Some spanking, some--rough sex, perhaps. Are you familiar with the concepts of orgasm denial and edging? Or overstimulation?”

The no-nonsense tone with which the Kelpien had mentioned such things had Michael swiftly shifting in her seat as she felt a rush of wetness between her thighs. She saw Saru’s nostrils flare from where he sat across from her, as if he was scenting her, and Michael watched the Kelpien clench his hands into fists on the desk. She swallowed, her mouth dry, but she found the words to reply all the same. 

“With the--terms,” she whispered, “but not in practice. Sir.” 

“Would you be willing to practice such things, with me?” he asked softly. “Knowing that you can end such things at any time, by using your safeword, or giving me the color ‘red.’” 

Saru watched as the human before him squared her shoulders, giving him a small smile, but her eyes gleamed with both want and determination. 

“I would, Sir,” she said, nodding. “I can tell that you, Captain Saru, are the one that wants to ‘put me in my place,’ as you mentioned so aptly earlier. It’s been a while since I’ve slept with anyone, but--in case you couldn’t tell, before, I’ve never been one to back down from an adventure. And it sounds like this could be the kind of exploration we both need, right now.”

Saru sat up straighter, feeling Michael’s eyes on him like a physical touch, and now, despite his newfound desire to be a dominant partner, he felt a pang of nervousness along with his excitement. 

“I am...glad to hear that, Michael,” he said, his voice sounding several octaves lower, and the Kelpien did not bother to hide the desire in his voice. “I am honored you are willing to be with me. Could you please tell me...when you would like to begin our night together? If you need extra time, I would just need to examine my schedule for this week--”

“Now works for me, Sir,” she said, interrupting him, and Saru saw that she was now grinning widely at him. “After all, I did just finish beta shift about two hours ago. If that works for you, that is, _Captain_ Saru.” 

Saru took a shaky breath, sighed, then nodded and stood, looming over her, staring at her with unabashed lust, his azure eyes gleaming.

“It does, Officer Burnham,” he said. “Perhaps, tonight, I will make some headway in helping you attain a new understanding of the value of following my orders. Or at least get you to enjoy yourself, all the same.”

“I’m looking forward to it, Sir,” she said, and the grin Michael gave him was wicked. 

She moved her head slightly so that her long braids tumbled down her shoulder. She crossed her legs in front of him, and Saru clenched his fists as the scent of her desire reached him. 

How he _wanted_ this beautiful human, whom he had the honor of calling one of his dearest friends!

“What do you want me to do, Captain?” she asked. Her grin had not abated in the slightest. 

Saru grinned back from where he stood, the corners of his mouth turning fully upwards. Kelpiens did not have the same range of subtle facial expressions as humans, but Michael could see his grin all the same. 

“Remain where you are, Officer,” he said, “and watch me.” 

Saru reached up and loosed the collar of his uniform, undoing it nimbly despite his large fingers with their strangely pointed fingernails. Soon, he had undone his shirt and yanked it swiftly upwards, tossing it into the corner of the room. Michael looked at his torso, the whirls and ridged patterns of his bare skin, so different from the smooth skin of humans, but so intriguing to look at! She couldn’t find it in her to look away. Saru laughed at his science officer’s awestruck expression, the clicking noise of Kelpien laughter filling the room.

“I’m assuming you like what you see, Officer Burnham,” he said, and strode confidently around his desk to where she sat. 

“That I do, Captain,” she replied, nodding.

He knelt at her feet, the tall alien bringing himself to eye level with her. Saru looked at her, several emotions flickering on his face at once, and he sighed and took her hand in his. Without looking away, he raised Michael’s hand to his mouth, pressing a gentle kiss to the center of her palm, causing her to gasp, before dragging her hand to rest in the center of his chest, over his heart. Michael could feel the rapid two-tone beat of his heart beneath her hand; his Kelpien skin was cooler than her own, but she could feel his skin heating up as she touched him. The ridged texture was intriguing, and she wanted to touch him more, but she reminded herself she had agreed to following Saru’s commands, and so she waited for his direction. 

“I owe you so much, Michael,” he whispered. “Without you, I could never have freed Kaminar from the Ba’ul, if you had not been willing to lead me through _vahar’ai_. It all turned out for the best, but at the time...we both thought my life was over. Still, you did not turn away, but stayed by my side, to face such a path together.” 

Michael swallowed, a pang of emotion causing her face to twist in remembered grief of that moment, when she thought Saru had been close to death. She placed her other hand gently over his.

“I meant what I said that day, Saru,” she said in a whisper, feeling the burn of tears in her eyes as she met his gaze. “I _do_ love you. You’re one of my closest friends. No matter what happens between us, no matter what disagreements we have, or what you have to do as my Captain, that will never change. And I’m _proud_ of you, of everything you’ve accomplished. You will be a great Captain, Saru. Of that I have no doubt.”

Saru rumbled a pleased sound deep in his throat, closing his eyes before opening them again, and they glistened with unshed tears. He pressed her hand harder against his heart. 

“Thank you, Michael,” he said. “Whatever I do with you, tonight, whatever we choose to do together--please know that everything I do, every action I take, is done out of that same love.”

Michael smiled, reaching out to gently stroke his cheek, feeling the ridges of his skin beneath her fingers.

“I know, Saru,” she whispered, and with that the human and Kelpien drifted slowly towards one another, until their lips brushed together in a gentle kiss. 

Michael kissed him gently, her lips sliding against his, exploring the rigid edges of his Kelpien mouth, his lips firmer than a human's but so interesting a texture. He tasted like an unknown spice, like a combination of cinnamon and mint, and Michael hummed into the kiss, wanting more, _needing_ more of him. Saru groaned low in his throat, grasping her hand tighter against him, and kissed her back harder, licking at her lips. The Kelpien coaxed her mouth open, his much longer tongue licking into her mouth, and she moaned as their tongues twined together, the taste of him sending a white-hot streak of desire surging through her. Michael reached out and tentatively placed her other hand against his shoulder, stroking the ridged, raised skin, exploring him, and Saru groaned again, the passion of the sound feeling almost out of place, shocking to her on some level as she unraveled her mild-mannered captain.

Kissing Saru wasn't what she had expected at all. Michael had thought he would be cold, like his colder demeanor towards her earlier, like the sternness in his eyes when he had demoted her, but instead the heat of his mouth scalded her, made her blood boil further with want. She moved her lips against his mouth again, tentatively, and the Kelpien uttered a sigh against her mouth, pulling her closer to him, until their bodies slid against each other, making them both groan. Reluctantly, he tore his mouth from hers, leaving them both panting, staring at each other. 

Saru plucked at her uniform with shaking fingers. 

“Take this off, Officer Burnham,” he said, his voice heavy with desire. “All of it. I need to feel _all_ of you.” 

Michael swallowed and nodded, and she watched her captain stand, towering over her again at his full height. He reached down to take off his shoes, revealing his strange, grooved Kelpien feet with their large nail-like protrusions, almost like alien hooves. The rest of his uniform followed, and Michael followed suit, tossing her shoes and uniform with his onto the floor. 

Then they were fully bare before each other, human and Kelpien, staring at each other again with passionate awe. Saru admired the expanse of her smooth, tan skin, her delicate breasts with their dark areolas, and he fought the desire to immediately lean down and take her into his mouth. Michael gazed at the ridged lines covering Saru’s entire body, wanting to drag her tongue against every whirled pattern, to watch his face react as she did so. 

Saru reached for her, and Michael moved into him, the pair groaning as they slid against each other for the first time. Her captain lifted her face towards his, and took her lips in a kiss that rapidly grew heated. She nipped at his firm lips, making him groan into her mouth, and he thrust his hips against her, pressing his rock-hard cock against her sternum, the height difference between them making their efforts to continue kissing more than a little awkward. Michael pressed against his chest, finally separating them, and she took a moment to look down at his length. Saru’s cock was fully hard and quite thick, pink and covered with the same whirled ridges as the rest of him, with a tapered head not unlike that of a circumcised human man, his tip already leaking with arousal. 

Saru smiled as he watched Michael staring at his erect length.

“Would you like to touch me?” he asked. Michael looked up at him, blushing, but nodded wordlessly.

“Color,” he said, testing her memory of the system they had talked about earlier. 

Michael smirked up at him.

“Green, Sir,” she said, and he nodded.

“Good girl,” he said, petting her long braids.

She laughed and reached for him, giving him a gentle stroke from base to tip, grinning wider as she watched her Kelpien captain shudder beneath her touch.

“ _By Kaminar,_ ” he swore, his eyes closed, stroking her arms and shoulders as he sighed at the touch. “It has been far too long since I have been with a lover...Michael, that feels wonderful!” 

“I’m glad, Sir,” she said, stroking him faster, enjoying how he moaned and arched his hips into her grip. 

Saru opened his eyes, panting, and glared down at her sternly, a surge of possessiveness moving through him. 

“I need to feel more of you, Michael,” he said, beginning to pant as the human stroked him further. “ _On your knees._ ” 

The firmness of the order made her center throb with renewed wanting between her thighs, but Michael only nodded, determined to give Saru the experience they both wanted and agreed on.

“Yes, Sir,” said Michael in reply, smirking at him, and knelt before him, not stopping her strokes on his cock. 

Saru petted her hair, stroking her cheek gently with his other hand.

“Color?” he asked.

“Green,” she said.

“Good,” he said, “then take me into your mouth.” 

Michael leaned forward on her knees, licking a hot stripe up Saru’s cock from base to tip, savoring the Kelpien’s ensuing moan of pleasure. She swirled her tongue around the tip of him, enjoying his musky, alien taste, before wrapping her lips around him, bobbing gently. Saru moaned again, thrusting gently as Michael took more of his length into her mouth with every movement of her head against him.

" _Ah!_ Oh, _Michael,_ " he moaned, stroking his long fingers through her braided hair as she hummed around him, his length finally hitting the back of her throat.

Saru gasped, fighting the urge to come inside her mouth, to watch her swallow his seed. The Kelpien looked down, stunned as he watched Michael taking the whole of him into her mouth over and over again.

"You feel-- _ahhh!_ \--Michael, you feel heavenly," said Saru with a groan, unable to keep from rocking his hips gently forward into his human lover's mouth, and he gasped again as she hummed around him once more, teasing him with the vibration.

"As you-- _oh!_ \--a-as you may be aware, we Kelpiens do not--w-with our lips not being as-- _ah!_ \--flexible as a human's, we do not engage in this particular activity as much as--as your kind d-does...!" he managed to say, gritting his teeth and grasping her hair firmly as Michael threatened to overwhelm him completely.

" _Ah,_ by _Kaminar,_ Michael...!" he swore, panting for breath. "As much as I enjoy every moment of this, please stop, or this night of ours will be over before it's begun!"

He tapped the back of her head gently, and Michael finally released him, licking one last stripe up his length before sitting back on her heels, grinning up at him and licking her lips. Saru stared at her, his blue eyes wide as he panted, his chest heaving.

"You are truly a wonder, Michael Burnham," he whispered, looking at her with awe. Michael blushed and laughed a bit under her breath.

"Thank you, Captain Saru," she said, and her smile was smug. "I could say the same thing of you. I enjoyed that just as much as you did, by the way."

"Is that so, Officer?" said Saru, smiling down at her and crossing his arms, his cock throbbing against his stomach as he took in the sight of a naked Michael Burnham on her knees before him. Her braided hair draped down her shoulders, framing the curves of her body, and Saru wanted to kiss every inch of her skin, to adorn her body with kisses, to make her cry out his name as many times as he could.

"Then you will allow me the same liberty of pleasing you in a like manner," he said, gesturing to his desk. "Sit on top of the desk, please."

Michael smirked at him and stood, sitting on top of her captain's desk and waiting for his further instruction. Saru returned her smirk with one of his own, kneeling so that he was level with her lower body. He reached out and grasped her thighs, motioning her to sit on the edge of the desk, and Michael did so, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Spread your legs, Officer," he said, his voice thick with longing, and Michael took a shaky breath as she did so, her delicate pink folds on display for him, glistening with moisture. Saru groaned aloud at the tantalizing sight. He stroked his fingers gently down her inner thighs, enjoying her gasps and shivers. 

"I would like to taste you now, Michael, if I may," he said, and Michael nodded eagerly, her eyes lidded, gleaming with lust. She clutched the edges of the desk with shaky hands.

"Yes, Captain-- _please,_ " she said. "I want to feel you..."

“Give me your color,” he said.

“Green,” she said, and without any further pause he leaned forward, licking a hot stripe up her slick folds, causing them both to moan. 

“Oh God, Saru--oh _fuck,_ ” said Michael, reaching down and grasping the smooth top of Saru’s head, stroking the ridges of his skin lightly as he licked at her. 

Saru hummed at her in pleasure at her touch, at the bittersweet taste of her flooding his mouth, and he groaned, licking and sucking harder at her flesh. Michael whined and gasped, closing her thighs about her captain’s head, shuddering against the desk. Saru growled against her slick folds, dragging his tongue up to swirl around her engorged nub, feeling her cry out his name loudly as he overstimulated her, before he dived back down and began to fuck her with his long tongue, feeling her inner walls rippling around him. 

“Oh, oh, _Saru, yes_ \--yes, fuck, like that-- _ohgodohgodohgod_ \--” her words were choked off as the Kelpien’s long tongue reached that spot inside her.

He swirled his tongue about that spot, made the coil of pleasure in her abdomen grow white hot, until it suddenly _snapped_ and she finally tumbled over the edge into bliss _._ Michael screamed out his name as she shook through her orgasm, no longer caring if the rest of the crew or the entire damn ship could hear her. She shuddered against her captain’s mouth, and Saru groaned loudly as her spend flooded his mouth, grasping her hips firmly in his hands, easing her through her release slowly, until his lover gave one final shudder and lay still on the surface of the desk, gasping and panting for breath.

Saru rose to his feet again, licking at his lips, her essence still dripping down his chin, staring down at Michael in satisfaction as the human panted on the desk, before she looked up at him. 

Saru smiled. 

“I want you now, Michael,” he said, and didn’t miss her ensuing shiver at his words. She nodded.

“I want you too, Saru--Captain,” she said, stumbling over his title, but he was pleased all the same. 

“Then turn around, Michael,” he ordered. “Lean your body against the desk, and spread your legs for me.”

Michael shivered beneath his ice-blue gaze and got up slowly, still wobbling from the force of her earlier orgasm. She turned about, her back to him, perching her lower body off the desk, and spread her legs wide for him as he had ordered her to. She felt Saru stroke one of his palms down the curve of her back, and Michael shuddered beneath him. 

“Relax,” he whispered. She nodded and leaned down, her head on her forearms, her braids drifting over her shoulders. Saru swallowed, his mouth dry at the lovely form of Michael Burnham before him. Her beauty sent another surge of lust through him, and he stroked his cock, gritting his teeth, and walked closer to her, until he was leaning against her body. 

“Color, Michael,” he asked.

“Green, Sir,” she said through clenched teeth, both nervous and impatient to have him inside her at last.

“Are you sure?” he asked, even as he lined himself up with her entrance, causing them both to shudder. “We can take it slow--”

“I don’t want it _slow,_ Sir,” said Michael, turning and giving him a look of furious lust. “I want you, and I _need_ you to _fuck me._ Right now. _Sir!_ ”

“As you wish, Michael,” he said, and pressed his hips gently forward, entering her smoothly, both of them moaning in ecstasy as he rocked deeper into her wet heat. 

“Oh god, _Saru_ , yes!” she cried out, reveling in the thick heat of him filling her. The ridges of his length sent ripples of pleasure through her body as her captain thrust into her at a faster pace. Michael thrust her hips back against him, greedy for more, sighing his name.

“Yes, Michael!” said Saru in a snarl, reaching down and grasping her braids, tugging at her gently as she rocked back onto his cock, drawing more sighs and gasps of his name out of her. “Take _all_ of me! That’s an _order!_ ”

He thrust into her, hard, making her body shake, and she shouted his name. The Kelpien and human both groaned as they rocked together, the wooden desk creaking beneath their combined weight. Michael shuddered as she felt Saru lean down and press a line of heated kisses up her spine, before tracing the shell of her ear with his long tongue, drawing a gasp from her.

"Do you see how _good_ it can feel, Michael, to follow my orders?" he whispered into her ear, panting as he did not cease the movement of his hips into hers. "Do you understand, now, the value of following my command?"

"Y-y-yes, Captain-- _oh!_ \--God, _yes!_ That feels so good-- _ahhh!_ " Michael's voice choked off in another moan as she felt the Kelpien nip at her ear, timing it with a hard thrust into her core that had her seeing stars.

"That's right, _Officer_ Burnham," he rasped, chuckling under his breath as the heat of her body overwhelmed him. "Moan for me! You make the sweetest noises, Michael! You're being so good for me, so _obedient._ It is quite a nice change of pace."

" _Ahh_ \--Sir, please--" she said, not even sure what she was begging for, moaning as his thick ridged length filled her again and again, hitting that secret spot inside her that drove her steadily towards her peak. 

"Please what, Michael?" said Saru, leaning back up to his full height and clutching her hips as he fucked her ruthlessly against the desk. The Kelpien could feel his human lover tightening around him, and he uttered a deep, masculine groan, fighting for control over his instincts to come inside her, to mark her as _his._

" _Please_ , I need--Captain, I want to come...!" said Michael, her voice shaking as Saru's body drove her to ecstasy. She was growing desperate, clenching her fingers around the edges of the desk as Saru fucked her even faster, showing no signs of slowing down his maddening pace. "Please, will you let me come?!" 

Saru laughed, his clicking laughter flowing over her.

"Do you think you deserve to come so _easily,_ Officer Burnham?" he said in a teasing voice, panting. "After your blatant disobedience of my orders? No, Officer, you may not come. Not yet. Make no mistake, Michael, I _will_ make you scream my name, but not yet. You haven't earned your pleasure from me yet!"

Michael groaned beneath him in a combination of disappointment and exhilaration, the thrill of Saru's control over her orgasm overriding her natural impatience to find her own satisfaction.

"Please--Captain Saru, I'll be good," she said, babbling as her body ached all over with pleasure. "I'll be so good for you, Captain! I want to be good for you!"

Saru ran a hand down her back, attempting to calm her, and she moaned, arching into the touch.

" _Shhhh_ , Michael, I know," said Saru, making his tone comforting as Michael shivered and writhed beneath him. "You're being so good for me already. More than I could have ever dreamed! I'll give you what you want, < _lovely one_ >!"

Saru figured he should be surprised that Michael's passionate submission to him was causing him to lapse into his native Kaminari language, but the term of endearment rose to his lips easily, and it fit her perfectly, just as Michael's wet heat fit perfectly around his length, making his every nerve aflame with rapture. He hissed as she tightened around him, and he tilted his head as he looked down at her thoughtfully, slowing his hips just a fraction. 

"You are so wonderful, Michael," he said with a sigh, "my < _lovely beauty-in-moonlight_ >! You are perfect, everything I have ever longed for!"

Michael felt her entire body shaking as her Kelpien captain's praise washed over her, his whispered, mysterious alien endearments thrilling her, and she gave an answering sigh as pleasure suffused her entire being.

"Oh, God, _Saru,_ " she said, arching into him, " _yes,_ I love how you make me feel, it's _so good_ like this...! Please, I need you, Captain!"

"You have me, Michael," he said, his words a promise. "Always!"

" _Saru...!_ " she cried, her eyes filling with tears of passion.

Saru opened his mouth and growled, a surge of possessiveness moving through him at the way Michael desperately moaned his name. How he had dreamed of this, his name on the proud human woman's lips, for years! He gripped her hips firmly, savoring the way she gasped beneath him, the way his cock disappeared inside her slick center with every thrust of his hips against hers.

" _Yes, Michael,_ " he said with a snarl, "cry out your captain's name! Do you still want to come? Tell me, Michael!" 

" _Yes!_ Yes, Saru--Captain, I want to come! Please, _please let me_...!" she sobbed. 

Michael didn't even care that she was begging, only that she was desperate to reach her peak with the Kelpien's ridged cock inside her, driving her to new heights of pleasure she had never even dreamed of. She grasped the edges of the desk, the wood groaning beneath them as the pair writhed together. 

Saru snarled under his breath, gritting his teeth and pulling out of her reluctantly. Michael whined under him, turning her head to look over her shoulder. 

“Why did you stop, Sir?” she asked breathlessly. Privately, Michael was furious that Saru had stopped, as she had been on the precipice of release, but at the heated look the Kelpien gave her, she realized that he had known that. She looked down and watched him stroke his ridged cock lazily as he glared down at her, his length still dripping wet with her spend. 

“I told you, _Officer_ Burnham,” he said, his voice firm, “that you would come when I _said_ you could. Your pleasure is _mine_ tonight, as we agreed. Unless you need to use your safeword?” 

Michael glared back at him, feeling petulant, but bit her lip and shook her head. Saru smirked at her despite his intended sternness. 

“Good girl,” he replied. “I’ve been good to you, so far, Michael, but the fact remains: you disobeyed a direct order of mine. You still need to be punished for that.” 

He placed a hand firmly on her backside, stroking her buttocks with his palm. Michael gasped and shivered. 

“How I have longed for this,” he said, his voice shaking with furious passion. He caressed her ass further, enjoying the heat of her body, the shivers he caused in his human lover beneath him.

“Now, Officer Burnham, I am going to spank you,” he said. “I will start off lightly, but will increase my strikes on you in intensity as I continue. I will be checking on you and asking your color as I do so. If you need to stop completely, you will use your safeword. Do you understand?” 

“Yes, Sir, I understand,” she said, her voice trembling in anticipation, but she nodded.

“Good,” he said. “Give me your color, Michael.”

“Green,” she whispered, and gasped, jolting against the desk as Saru spanked her ass lightly, a burst of more sensation than pain, that made Michael’s nipples harden and her center ache between her thighs. She had never been spanked before, and she felt the touch on her body move through her like a shockwave. She opened her mouth, intending to say something--she wasn’t sure what, perhaps another moan of Saru’s name--when she gasped as the captain spanked her again, harder this time. The pain rippled through her entire body, making her tingle, a rush of adrenaline coursing through her veins. She took a shaky breath, breathing hard, feeling herself grow even wetter in her core. 

“Color,” said Saru, his tone firm, the thrill of control over his lover making him ache all over in passionate desire, his cock throbbing to full hardness against his stomach. He loved watching her shake from the impact of his palm against her ass, the breathy gasps of surprise that she uttered from her pursed lips. 

“Green--” said Michael in a whisper, tensing for his hand, but she jumped anyway when he spanked her next, and it was just like he said, steadily increasing in intensity. A heady mix of pain and pleasure rocked through her body, making Michael feel like she was floating. Part of her couldn’t believe she was getting so turned on from the feeling of pain Saru was inflicting on her by spanking her so soundly, but she had to admit to herself: she loved it. She loved all of it; and the best part was that it was with Saru! 

She tilted her head back to look at him, grinning as she saw the Kelpien looming over her, panting and fully aroused, his pink body flushed with the high of control: control over _her!_

“Color.” 

“Fucking _green,_ Sir--- _ahhh!_ ” she cried out as Saru spanked her harder than he had before, and the Kelpien grinned as Michael closed her eyes at the impact, groaning and shuddering. 

“Now is not the time for your _cheek,_ Michael,” he said, amusement plain in his voice, and he stroked the red welts he had left over her ass gently, relishing in her soft ensuing moan. “ _Persistently_ disobedient, and rebellious in demeanor. What _am_ I to do with such a _naughty_ science officer? Do you have any ideas, Officer Burnham?”

“....N-n-no, Sir, I don’t,” she said, her voice shaking, her body shivering as she was torn by the ache of desire between her legs, and the soreness of her ass from where the captain had spanked her.

“Mmmm, I see,” said Saru smoothly, his body buzzing with excitement as he continued his domination of his lover. “Then you won’t mind if I spank you _more_ , then, as a just punishment for your continuing insolence against your captain?” 

Michael swallowed, shivering from the promise in Saru’s words. Saru looked at Michael, pursing his lips in concern.

“Michael, look at me,” he said with a tone of command, and Michael did so, her dark eyes shimmering with unshed tears. Saru straightened at the sight. 

“Michael, do you need to stop?” he asked quietly. 

He frowned as she shook her head.

“N-no, Saru, I--I don’t want to stop, Sir,” she said softly. “It’s just--this, here with you--it’s intense, and it’s...a lot of--feelings, a lot of sensations…”

“Ah,” he said, nodding. “It is normal to feel overwhelmed during this kind of encounter, Michael, especially if you are new to these feelings and sensations. Please know that we can stop, if you need to. You can say the color ‘red,’ for example, and I will not be upset with you. I want you to _enjoy_ this, not merely succumb to it for my sake. Do you need to change the color of your response, Michael?”

“No, Sir,” she replied. “I mean it, I don’t want to stop. I--I like it, and I’m just--surprised at myself for liking--when you spank me…”

Michael felt her entire face heat at the unintended admission, and buried her head in her forearms in embarrassment. Why was she feeling so weak, so overwhelmed, at a mere sensation? She had fought in the Federation’s war against the Klingons, she had fought and defeated the Terran Empire, she had been trained to fight by Vulcans and learned how to hold her own against their superior strength. Why couldn’t they have just done ‘vanilla sex,’ after all? Wouldn’t that have made more sense, instead of these confusing feelings of submission and domination? Yet, she _had_ been interested in submitting to Saru, in giving herself to him completely. In letting the Kelpien dominate her, letting the captain _punish_ her.

“I _deserve_ to be punished, Captain Saru,” she whispered, looking up at him again. Saru looked down at her, an unreadable expression on his face, his blue eyes regarding her with their bottomless depths. Michael had always thought Saru’s eyes were beautiful, just like his determination, the strength of his character. 

“Go ahead, Michael,” said Saru softly, encouraging her. “Tell me more.”

“I--I started this,” she whispered. “All of it…” 

She felt a sort of numbness as she felt tears gathering in her eyes.

“Go on,” he said. 

“I started the Klingon War, I got Phillipa killed--” she began, but Saru stroked her back gently with a hand and interrupted her.

“The Klingons started the war against the Federation, Michael,” he said gently. “You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, none of that was your fault. You were following our mission, doing what you thought was right. If not you, it would have been someone else whom the Klingons would have started an altercation with. And Captain Georgiou was a Federation Captain, she knew the risks of command, the oaths she took. As do we all.”

Saru walked up to Michael, running a hand tenderly through the long braids draped over her back, and she shivered and leaned into his touch, seeking that comfort. 

“Captain Phillipa Georgiou lived and died with honor,” he said to her in a whisper, his voice reverent as he talked about their captain on the Shenzhou. “Yes, you willfully made mistakes, as you have done throughout our time together on Discovery. And so have I, and so have the entire crew. We are but mortal and flawed beings, Michael. Yet, it is because of you that we were able to end the war, to stop Control from destroying the galaxy. Hopefully, we will be able to find the answers you have sought about the Burn, while also helping the Federation here in the 30th century. You are far more than your mistakes, Michael Burnham.”

Michael shivered, crying softly at the compassion in Saru’s words. 

“Captain,” she whispered, and Saru made his decision.

“I am making the decision to stop for you,” he said softly. “It’s obvious you are done, at least with my...chosen method of punishment. You were so good for me, < _lovely one_ >, you did so well! I am proud of you. Stand up for me, Michael. Gently, now.”

Saru enfolded the human in his arms, helping her to stand up on shaking legs, and he held her tenderly against his chest, letting her cry softly, listening to his heartbeat as she clutched at him, her fingers sliding against the grooved ridges in his back. He just nuzzled the top of her hair like a very tall, hairless cat, rumbling low in his chest, stroking her back, and gradually Michael calmed. Finally, she looked up at him, wonder and yearning in her dark eyes.

“Thank you,” she said, smiling, wiping tears from her eyes, and Saru gave her an answering smile.

“Thank _you_ , Michael, for being here with me--for _loving_ me, like this,” he replied, and he felt his heart lurch inside his chest as the beautiful woman in his arms returned his smile. 

For a moment, Saru considered what it would be like to love Michael for real--to love such a woman, such a human, with a heart as brave, wild, and untamable as the stars. Yet, deep down, Saru knew he could not give Michael what she wanted, that wide expanse of the cosmos and a blank slate with little rules and passions running freely--the kind of life she had spent with Book, a year prior to Discovery’s own arrival in the 30th century. Just as he knew she could not offer him the stability he craved--a life dedicated to Starfleet and the Federation, the organization that had freed his own people, and his home of Kaminar, from endless servitude to the Ba’ul. They both needed vastly different things for the rest of their lives; perhaps that was why this moment between them was so cathartic, so meaningful to them both. 

Saru swallowed, stroking a hand against her cheek, and Michael leaned up to kiss him, her lips sliding against his once more like it was second nature, her hands sliding up around his shoulders. He clutched her to him, her kiss igniting his passion once more.

“Make love to me, Saru,” she said, gasping against his mouth, and he groaned, sliding his hands over her ass and yanking her forward into him. Michael felt his hardness trapped between them, and she fumbled between them, stroking him gently, causing him to gasp. 

“Is that what you want, Michael?” he managed to say, her touch sending pleasure coursing throughout his entire body. He moaned as he rocked into her palm, and she grinned at him. 

“Yes, I want you, _Saru,_ ” she whispered, “so much…”

“ _Michael,_ ” he said, his voice desperate and wavering, and pulled her over to the captain’s chair at his desk. 

He sat down and pulled her astride him, stroking her shoulders as she settled her thighs on either side of his hips. Saru stared at the beautiful human in his lap, dumbfounded as he watched Michael reach down and line his length up with her entrance, and then she closed her eyes and moaned as she slowly sank down on him. She rocked up and down atop him, drawing moans and sighs out of both of them as she took him fully inside her. Saru clutched at her hips, panting as he helped her ride him, leaning forward and kissing in between her breasts. Michael gasped, yanking his head up and kissing him hard, timing it with a smooth roll of her hips that had him seeing stars. 

Saru groaned into her mouth, helpless as he submitted to Michael’s hold on him, the heat of her body scalding him, dragging him inexorably towards the bliss they both chased. 

“Michael--” he gasped against her mouth, “I-- _Kaminar,_ Michael! I-- _oh,_ I--I cannot last much longer!” 

“ _Yes,_ Saru, that’s it,” said Michael, holding him tightly, sighing as she did not cease the movement of her hips on top of him, reaching finally for her own peak. “Please, Captain, will you let me come now?”

Saru moaned, a thrill moving through him at her obedience. The Kelpien felt a sudden wild yearning to possess her, to love her forever, knowing he never could; yet in this moment, here in his arms, she was utterly _his!_

“Come for me, Michael,” he said, rocking up into her, making her sigh and arch her back as pleasure suffused them both. “I want to feel you come around me!”

“ _Ahhhh!_ Saru... _Saru!_ ” she cried, unable to defy her captain’s plea. Her entire body shook on top of him, she felt herself tighten around him, and then Michael closed her eyes and uttered a wordless cry as she tumbled off the edge into her ecstasy. Saru groaned, thrusting up into her, and then he, too was coming, shuddering and sighing against her as he spilled inside her. The human and Kelpien held each other as they trembled from their shared pleasure, then both of them stilled with a sigh, panting for breath. 

Finally, once they had both calmed, Michael looked up at him from where she sprawled against the Kelpien’s torso, running her fingers along the ridges of his chest, smiling as Saru made that strange rumbling purring noise, sounding utterly content, though his eyes were closed. 

“Captain, I--I guess I should get back to my quarters,” she murmured, but startled as Saru huffed and just held his arms about her tighter.

“You’ll do no such thing, Officer Burnham,” he murmured, and opened his eyes to give her an amused look, his gaze gleaming with contentment. 

“Need I remind you we have personal transporters, now?” he said. “You can use yours to teleport back in the morning.”

“In--in the...morning, Sir?” she asked, and he pursed his lips at her.

“Did you think, Michael, that after making love to you, I would kick you out?” he said, his tone mildly affronted. “That is _very_ unlike me, as well as an absurd notion. I happen to know that you don’t go back to the Bridge until delta shift tomorrow afternoon. Which leaves plenty of time for us to rest in my bed. Together.” 

“Oh...so...you want me to stay,” she said, giving him a shy smile. 

Saru smiled back, as wide a smile as the Kelpien could manage.

“Yes, I would like you to stay, Michael,” he murmured. “We could have breakfast tomorrow, before you teleport back, if you would like--”

“I would _love_ that,” she whispered, laughing, and leaned in to kiss him. He smiled into the kiss, stroking her back.

“Though, Sir... “ she murmured against his lips. “I have to ask, Captain Saru. Do you think I’ve earned a respite from any further...punishment?”

Saru laughed, making that clicking noise of laughter as he stroked her cheek and leaned forward, pressing his forehead gently against her own.

“I think you have. And not only that, Officer Burnham,” said Saru. “I believe you have received exactly what you deserved.”

~The End~

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
